Wedding Wednesday: The truth about being engaged

Welcome back!
This Friday will mark one month of Andy and I being engaged. It has been a crazy busy month in so many ways, and this month alone has taught me more about our relationship than I ever expected. I always thought the minute I got engaged, the skies would part, a bunch of confetti would pour down on us and I'd immediately jump into planning my dream fairytale wedding. Turns out, getting engaged is not as whimsical as I expected. Don't get me wrong, I'm giddy with excitement to be engaged-but there's more to this new chapter in my life than just a shiny new ring on my finger...


I thought I'd use some photos of my 2 favorite boys-Andy and our little fur baby Duke! Because I might sound a little bratty in this post so hopefully pictures of my cute pup will remind you that you (probably) still like me.



1. Being engaged teaches you that marriage is not about YOU.
There are many ways to go about being engaged. Because I've always been a person of faith, I'm really focusing on preparing my heart for marriage by reading and studying as much as possible about marriage in the Bible. Being a wife is a BIG. DEAL. It's a huge responsibility and commitment that goes beyond cooking, cleaning, etc. Being a wife will not be about me. My life as a wife will be about loving, supporting, and respecting Andrew and the family we will create together. My life as a wife will be about praying for my husband, and focusing on having God be the center of our marriage. When we were boyfriend and girlfriend, Andy made it a point to always treat me like a princess. I know that will never stop, but now that we are preparing to be husband and wife, I understand that my role is not princess anymore. My role is to be a woman of God who graciously takes said role with the utmost seriousness and respect. My life is not just "me" anymore. It's US. And US should not be taken lightly. This is all common sense I suppose, but it hadn't really struck me until I realized the heaviness that is marriage in the Bible. I'd love to talk about this in more detail if you'd all like to hear about it! Let me know!



2. Being patient and sharing is the new black
Andy moved into my parents home about 2 years ago. We hadn't shared a room or bed, so it wasn't necessarily a typical living together arrangement. My parents are very traditional, and very Catholic, so they allowed him to move in and share a room with my brother because he works so close to our home and it was convenient for him. So we live like roommates I guess you could say. The past few months Andy started sleeping on the floor of my bedroom. Last night we finally moved his bed into my room (big stretch for my parents here by the way), that's right, we're now sleeping like Lucy and Ricky Ricardo. I've never shared a room before. Also, I'm a girl. I have a lot of crap. And now I have to share my tiny space. I was seriously pissed all day yesterday because I had to get rid of a few pieces of furniture and pack up a lot of my stuff. Sharing my room is not a big deal, the lack of space is. My room is seriously tiny! This takes me back to my first point...it's now about US. In a year we'll be married and have our own space, but for now, I need to learn to share my space. I need to learn to be patient and understanding of the fact that my space is his now, and it always will be.



3. Engaged people still fight.
We just fought yesterday. I was mad about moving all my stuff around. Ugh, ME. Anyway, It happens. Being engaged doesn't mean life stops happening. 



4. Grooms are NID.
High five if you've watched The Wedding Planner a million times and you know what NID stands for! Grooms are Not Into Details. Andy's listened to me talk and talk and TALK about ideas I have for our wedding. He's got very few opinions, and has only made a few particular requests for our big day. It can be easy to get overwhelmed with planning a wedding, and I've had my moments where I feel like I'm doing it all by myself, but I'm not. Andy is helpful in more ways than I can explain and I'm grateful to him for listening to me talk nonstop. In my efforts to be a good fiance and (future) wife, I'm working on not taking his lack of attention to detail as him not caring about our wedding.

If you're married or engaged, what did you realize about marriage and yourself when you first got engaged? I'd love to hear all about it!
Linking up HERE for Wedding Wednesday!
Cheers to a wonderful day!



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7 comments:

  1. Thats really cool about your living situation, I've never heard of that before! It is definitely hard to get used to sharing a space. Ive been living with my boyfriend for 2 months and I'm still not used to it. Lol even though i moved into HIS apartment.

    Also, I really love that you are reading up on being a wife in the Bible. I see so many girls (women?) who are like "nope. I'm not taking care of him. he can cook/clean/take care of himself". Almost as if they are... "too good" to do these things for their men. when in reality that is what we are supposed to do. ahhh, i would love to read more about your journey with this topic. :)

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    1. Sharing is HARD haha, harder than I expected it to be! Also, a lot of what I am reading can also be applied to just being a girlfriend in a very committed relationship!

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  2. Loved this post. Since I'm nowhere near being engaged, it's nice to hear your perspective on it. I loved the part where you talked extensively from turning from 'me' to 'us.' It's so hard for me to imagine just because I'm not in that place yet, but I really appreciated all of those sentiments and got me thinking. I think it's wonderful that you're putting god at the center of your marriage and really focusing on preparing your heart. It's lovely.

    Also, I totally got the "NID" reference!

    xoxo

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  3. I tried to reply above but I'm at work and my computer is wacky. I was reading this article &thought of what I said above:

    "These cultural messages aren’t harmful because they hurt my manly feelings; they’re harmful because of what they do to young girls. Society tells our daughters that men are boorish dolts who need to be herded like goats and lectured like school boys. Then they grow up and enter into marriage wholly unprepared and unwilling to accept the Biblical notion that “wives should submit to their husbands” because “the husband is the head of the wife.” [Ephesians 5]"

    http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/02/22/your-husband-doesnt-have-to-earn-your-respect/

    It reminded me of you saying that you were reading up, preparing yourself to be a wife as in the bible. Its a good read if you have a minute! Happy Monday ♥

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    1. That was a great read! Thank you for sharing! You know, when I was younger I used to think it was so sexist of the Bible to ask wives to submit to their husbands. I think it's because at the time, I was in a somewhat toxic relationship and I didn't think he deserved that. Probably because he didn't. I think once you find the person who appreciates your devotion to them and does the same in return, being a good girlfriend or wife isn't something that you withhold. You just WANT to be that way because you truly care about your significant other and their happiness. I agree with your previous comment that women who say they wont take care of their s/o sound kind of silly and they're most definitely not prepared to be in a committed relationship be it living together, being married, etc. Thanks again for sharing! Having these conversations is an enriching experience!

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    2. I agree! My mom &her ex husband had a very one way street type of relationship and she STILL did everything for him. I always told myself "i'm never doing that for my man!" but now i absolutely love coming home from work and doing whatever I can to make Leo happy. But like you said, when it is a 50/50 relationship it just happens that way naturally.

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Hey there, I'm Jess! A DIY and glitter enthusiast. Obsessed with color, my husband, our dog, and Disneyland! Here you'll find colorful DIY's on a budget, boozy sips, and snippets of my life as a newlywed. Grab a cocktail, stay a while!

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