Weekly Wishes #6

Happy LAST Monday of 2013!!

Um. 
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??
I have no idea...
But somehow it happened and I am more than ready for a fresh start!

Before I jump into a pile of glitter and declare 2014 to be "my year", I thought I'd take a tiny breather and look back at the crazy roller coaster that was 2013, and of course, do the final Weekly Wishes link up of the year over at The Nectar Collective (it wouldn't be Monday without it!).

I hate to sound like an old record player for those who have read this before, but since I don't actually talk about it too much on here, I thought I would share with anyone that is new. I am currently undergoing treatment for precancerous cells that were found in my right breast. Not too long before I was diagnosed with this, I was in remission after having had a cancerous tumor in my small intestine. I suppose I'm talking about this pretty casually now, but really I have been horrified and panicked about all of this for a long, long time. This year marked my third year of me being in and out of treatments, on countless medicines, and in excruciating pain more often than not. I cannot tell you how many times a week day I've broken down in tears because I've just been so exhausted and scared.

Don't worry, this post isn't meant to make me sound like a Debbie Downer. I'm going somewhere with this, I promise! 

I feel like a lot of my accomplishments this year were very personal (and illness related), but for once in a very long while, I can say that I am so proud of myself.

Here's what I achieved in 2013:
1. I came to terms with my illness. My first year of being sick, every single thought of mine was that I was going to die soon. I'm a drama queen 24/7, but this new fear really put me in overdrive. This year I finally decided that God has kept me kicking for a reason, and I have complete trust in both Him and my doctor that I am going to be okay.
2. I overcame my fear of being alone. The fear of death? It kept me up all night, many nights. I became terrified of sleeping alone because I had a fear that the cancer would take over my body and kill me in my sleep. I forced everyone at home to sleep with their doors open and I spent countless nights in my brother & Andy's room just sleeping on the floor when I had a perfectly comfy bed in my room. It may be because cute little Duke sleeps next to me and keeps me company every night now, but I'm finally sleeping through the night again! I also now know that I will be okay being alone, because I'm never really alone.
3. I learned that it's okay to want people to have some compassion towards you and baby you in your struggles if that's what you need. I used to think not talking about my feelings in regards to my illness meant no one would worry about me and I wouldn't think about being sick so much. I was wrong. I needed people to just hold me while I cried and love on me as much as possible. And guess what? Those people did just that for me, with more love than I could ever imagine. 

I started this blog to document my struggles with my illness, but quickly decided that so much of my life was already consumed by these thoughts. I thought I'd make this blog about baking or beauty, but I realized that I wanted to focus more on learning to love and appreciate my life just the way it is (hence the title). I've loved every moment of finding positive parts of my day or week to blog about. This tiny little blog of mine has been the greatest outlet for me this year, and I am so grateful for this community and the friendships I have made because of this. Thank you, thank you for your support and encouragement, it has meant the world to me!

Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope you have a spectacular Monday!  
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10 comments:

  1. hey jess! you had quite the year... i'm sure it's been up and down, but your doctors are experts and the new year will come with it's own struggles and triumphs. i'm so proud of you for having the courage to share! i've come to your blog from 'weekly wishes' and i'm so glad i did! keep that chin up and go paint your nails :)

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    1. Thank you so much for stopping by Kristy! :)

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  2. Already following you along on your journey! No major things in 2013, but I'm happy I took a blogging break and then got back and loving it so much more and connect again with so many amazing people!

    Here's to a wonderful 2014! Happy New Year!

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  3. Hi Jessica! Thank you so much for offering such a lovely and generous giveaway. My biggest accomplishment was moving from an apartment to an actual house. The day we moved was one of the happiest days of my life.

    clogzilla(at)yahoo(dot)com

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    1. That's awesome! I look forward to the day when I can do the same! Congratulations!

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  4. I finished my fourth year in medicine school! Thank you for the chance!

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    1. WOW! That is absolutely amazing, congratulations on such a huge accomplishment Bianca!

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  5. I know what you mean, about being a drama queen. That is me alllllll the way and I don't even have half the reason you do to feel that way! I'm happy that you were able to put your trust in the Man upstairs, he can outsmart any doctor and crush any negative thoughts our human brains think up! This giveaway is the cutest! I just might have to send my family in michigan "Unbirthday" packages :)

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    1. Haha, I think I'm president of the drama queen club. Glad you're an official member of it now ;) I like to do "unbirthday" gifts when it's peoples half birthdays! Kind of nutty but it's fun! :)

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Hey there, I'm Jess! A DIY and glitter enthusiast. Obsessed with color, my husband, our dog, and Disneyland! Here you'll find colorful DIY's on a budget, boozy sips, and snippets of my life as a newlywed. Grab a cocktail, stay a while!

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